"I have been very abusive to myself and to my body. I wish I could have given a smoother introduction. But this is my blunt and unpolished truth. I have never really given my body the time or chance to just be. It was always too small in certain places, too big in others. Too weak, too stiff. It didn’t matter what my body looked like, it was never enough, and no measures were too harsh for me to make sure that my body behaved"