Creating Sensual Art as a Haitian Woman.-
What does it mean for me to create sensual art as a Haitian woman?
Well 3 years ago when I sat in front of my computer at midnight to create my personal blog after a my painful breakup; I had no idea I was going to come up with the name “Femmedusoir” I was actually sitting in the dark that night ironically , totally drifting in my pain. It made sense to me when that name popped, recalling all the empty nights I spent in my bed, sometimes writing, sometimes rolling in the void of my imagination, sometimes simply nude. That name resonated with me and does till this day. I created my blog that night to begin my personal journey into expressing my sensuality, vulnerabilities, poetry, desires and passion. My poetry at the time inspired me to become a muse,and to explore eroticism. Although my poetry inspired me, the desire to pose nude lived within me for a while and unleashing it brought a great joy and fulfillment to my life. Even if I was totally blindsided about the resistance I was to face when I became a nude model. My passion has always been my strength, my personal instrument of power and escapism.
To create sensual art as a Haitian woman has been a challenge. Back then when I decided to become a muse, I had no idea I was about to face those challenges because I was only focused on creating, expressing and unleashing that part of me. But after a serious talk with my mentor, the atrocious reality of what I was about to face as a nude haitian woman became clear to me that I must get myself ready for a battle. The rampant taboos that were still alive in my culture about openly expressing one’s sensuality/sexuality frightened me a bit. It frightened me because of my attachment to the principles I was raised by, and certainly for the respect I had for my family name. Many other things frightened me, such as being misunderstood, lost of respect, untrustworthiness due to my line of work, being fired (at my old job, which I eventually quit), losing opportunities, not being able to find a mate ettcc.. But I quickly regained control when I decided to commit to my passion no matter what comes in my way, because I didn’t choose the stars I was born under, they picked me and fulfilling my soul purpose is my ultimate duty and responsibility even if that means to Go Naked to make a point, to bend the rules, and appoint new ones.. It is in fact my mission to defiantly stand my ground as I pursue my dream.
Culture should not eradicate one’s individuality, and any evolving society would always make space for authenticity and individualism to be expressed. I didn’t want my culture to eradicate my individuality, even if I am proud of my heritage, I wanted to expand my capabilities and vision without dismissing my roots. In fact, that was the hardest thing for me to do. I refused to deny I was Haitian, just because there weren’t many nude Haitian muses, doesn’t mean that no one at some point wished to explore this art form.
To create sensual art as a Haitian woman means to me that I am part of the evolution of this modern era. It means that I chose to face the adversity of the old patterns and conception that yet still reign in the Haitian Culture. It highlights my soul mission and makes it even more relevant and significant because of the lack of depiction of sensual art in my culture. but I must add as well, that I am not forcibly inflicting change, or demanding change. The very fact that I am living my dream serves a beacon of hope that change is already happening. Creating sensual art is my passion but I believe that my Haitian heritage makes it a huge mission that have I have no intention of quitting